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Writer's pictureRuth Berzins

The Path to Becoming More Resilient

Photograph by Marina Surniene on Unsplash

When I came across this photograph of the lush foliage amid the barren landscape, the first thought that came to me was that of "resilience." How is it that some plants are able to thrive under seemingly difficult conditions, while others might find the conditions to be unbearable.


The same can be said for the human spirit. What are the qualities within us that we need to draw upon, in order to face some of life's greatest challenges?


I remember shortly after my father died, that this was a question at the forefront of my mind. The intensity of the sadness that I was feeling had reached the surface. And I wondered if I would ever feel like myself again.


One of the messages that I received from a colleague was to "be strong" and to carry on.

For those of you who are familiar with my writing, you may remember my earlier blog posts where I shared my experiences of grief and bereavement, following the deaths of my father and my mother at the end of their lives. I received several messages from readers who said that they admired my courage to share my feelings regarding my experiences of grief.


Although I understood the sentiments of support that they were conveying, I thought it was an interesting choice of words. Somehow it had never occurred to me that sharing my feelings of sadness would be considered an act of courage.


I imagine what they may have been referring to is that in the society we are living in, not too many people feel comfortable with openly acknowledging their feelings of being broken-hearted.


This is a concept that I have been fascinated by because, for me, it is essential that I first acknowledge the times that I have felt broken, if my hope is to become stronger and to thrive.


To acknowledge and to witness the places where we feel broken is to honour the sacredness of the human experience.


In an earlier blog post titled "Caring for Our Emotional Wounds," I wrote about the need to take care of ourselves, during these times in particular. It is essential to tend to the wound in order for it to heal. To take the time that is needed to mend the injury so that we can become strong again.


So, to circle back to my earlier question regarding the path to becoming more resilient. Resilience, to me, is about the process of tending to. To notice the areas of our life that need our attention. And to do what is necessary to take care of ourselves.


It is about understanding what our body may need in order to build our strength. It may be as simple as rest and nutrition. It may be quiet time that is needed to collect our thoughts.


Or it may be realizing that we don’t have the inner resources we need to become strong and resilient. We may need to reach out to others, be it a close friend or a therapist, for guidance and support.


And to know that a true sign of strength is to recognize when we are feeling afraid or broken-hearted. That this acknowledgment, alone, may be the very first step to take on our journey to emotional wellness.

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